I'm having trouble with our windmill palm. We've only had this about a year. We were told to leave the male seed/flower alone (second picture). Should I remove it? If so, any tips? Should I remove the one dead palm (first picture).
No point in hanging on to dead parts. Windmill palms like to be kept moist and fertilized - if what is visible around the tree indicates you are gardening in what is basically beach sand you are very likely to need to fertilize your palm on a routine basis. Look for a product packaged for use on palms and follow label directions. If instead you mulched with sand over the top of a more normal looking soil then sample the latter and have it analyzed by a soils lab before undertaking repeated applications of fertilizers. Applications to the palm and any other plantings there. Virginia Cooperative Extension should be able to help you with testing and management of local soils.